Rain Check

In a perfect world, it would rain Asiago. Alas, for now, you'll have to settle for shielding yourself against the elements with this bad boy. £16 ($26.50); houseofspoons.spreadshirt.co.uk.

Cheeseoscope of the Month: Aquarius

Aquarius (January 21 - February 19):

You're an independent spirit with strong convictions and an honest, loyal character. Sometimes, though, you have a tendency to become a temporary loner and dislike interference by others, accepting it only on your own terms. Much like fresh buffalo mozzarella, which works lovely unaccompanied—though you may want snack on it drizzled in a bit of olive oil.

Cheese That's No Bull

Feeling lavish? Try some moose cheese, made in Bjursholm, Sweden, from only three female moose (aka cows)—namely, Gullan, Haelga and Juna. Husband and wife Christer and Ulla Johansson claim their 59-acre dairy farm "Moose House" is the only farm of its kind in Europe. Because the moose produce milk between May and September, and it takes up to two hours to milk each one for up to just a gallon of milk a day, the price for this rare cheese is a hefty one: up to $500 per pound (£600/kilo)! It's sold primarily to upscale Swedish hotels and restaurants, but its three varieties can also be sampled at the farm's restaurant. The farm attracts nearly 25,000 visitors a year and plans to export the cheese.

Cheese Through the Years

"Cheese may arouse disgust or fascination," writes Andrew Dalby, in his new title, Cheese: A Global History (Reaktion Books, 2009). A colorful and thorough exploration of the origins of cheese in its many manifestations across the world, the title manages to make learning about history fun—as it should be, when it comes to cheese. This is assisted in part by entertaining illustrations and photographs (such as my personal favorites: the random "British girls enjoying cheese" photo from 1941, and the "cheese mite memorial" statute of Wurchwitz, which contains samples of Milbenkase for visitors to eat), and a selection of archaic recipes, like the one for (savory) cheese-cakes from 1642. Did you know: Camels'-milk cheese has been made in Egypt and Somalia for 2,000 years? Or the oldest known surviving cheese is a 5,000-year-old variety from Egypt? Or that some types of aged European cheese may (legally) contain cheese mites? Well, now you do, so maybe you dont need to read the book after all. Sorry!

Cheese on the Street 1.11.10

What's your favorite cheese, and why?

The cheese from Kraft Mac & Cheese. There's no other cheese like it, but the problem is, you can't have the cheese on its own!

-Jessica, 22

Coolest Cheese Invention of All Time?

The cheese-filtered cigarette (see actual patent illustration below). In 1966, one kooky fella, who claimed that cigarettes at the time didn't filter enough tar and nicotine, discovered that cheese did quite the efficient job. Question: Where is this man today, and will he marry me? Now, you too, can make your very own cheese-filted cig! It's easy: Use a hard cheese, grate into small pieces and mix with one-third part charcoal. The charcoal helps absorb cheese oil and keeps the filter from getting all stinky before it reaches your lips. Anyone who wouldn't take up smoking to try this is insane.

French Dressing

Communicate your love for cheese, the French, photography, or the color yellow in this sweet "Dis Fromage!" (aka "Say Cheese," you uncultured peabrains) T-shirt, sure to have that creepy guy at the bar question you about one of the aforementioned topics. $26.50 (£15); delias.com.