Cheesoscope of the Month: Gemini

Gemini (May 22 - June 21): The multitasker of the zodiac, you find it difficult to tackle just one issue at at time. Adaptable, versatile and a natural intellectual, you are terrified most by boredom - so how about you go for something wildly exciting and exotic from the market? Try évora: a spicy, fruity sheep's cheese from Portgual. This small cheese is made from raw sheep's milk that is immersed in salty brine then filtered through a mesh lining. The peppery, piquant flavor only gets stronger as it matures.

The Hoppy Couple

Screw wine. We're in a recession, guys. Besides, people like beer better anyway. Stop showing off, and just throw a beer & cheese party!

There's nothing like a delicious brew and some flavorful cheese to set the mood for a casual get-together with friends. Nothing screams "we are unsnobby and fun-loving" louder than a shared interest in beer bellies and stinky breath. And it seems as though beer has been gaining increasing popularity as a better complement to cheese than vino—perhaps because, as Chris George, seasoned cheese monger at Neal's Yard Dairy, notes, unlike wine and cheese, "if a beer and cheese combo doesn't work, it's less offensive because it's not as strong." George, who hosts regular cheese tasting events at the London fromagerie, also acknowledges the obvious price gap as an incentive for boozing it. When you're talking £2 for a bottle of beer as opposed to £30 for a bottle of wine, "You can experiment more because it's not going to break the bank." [Insert typical recession statement here.] Beer it is.

George avoids giving any hard-and-fast advice for pairing specific beers and cheeses, and instead prefers to dispense some general knowledge and let people experiment for themselves to see what flavor combos they enjoy best. "Your palate can change," he adds. When pairing, however, you typically want to keep an eye out for a brew with lots of alcohol, body, and sweetness.

If you're a virgin to the beer and cheese scene, your safest bet may be to stick with George's top three cheese-friendly picks for your soiree. The most versatile beers, he recommends, are Indian pale ales (IPA), Chimay ales, and porter beers. IPA tends to be pale to medium-colored, very hoppy and not too bitter. Its light carbonation, additionally, is quite palate-cleansing, especially useful given the high fat content of cheese. Chimay and other Belgian beers are lovely companions for washed-rind cheeses—pink, sticky, pungent cheeses like Epoisses, Muenster, Taleggio and Gruyere, for instance. Dark, sweet beers high in alcohol (look for ones that are 8.5% ABV), like Skull Splitter, Old Tom malts and Christmas keg, contrast well with blue cheeses; a Porter beer (a dark ale that's not as sweet nor high in alcohol) is a bit more versatile.

If you'd like to indulge in a little sophistication, Lucy Saunders, the beer expert and chef behind beercook.com, suggests assembling a good selection of cheese from each category (four to six varieties of cheese) for your party, accompanied by mild, bland crackers, like water crackers or toast rounds. In general, she recommends starting with more subtle cheeses and light-bodied beer, progressing to more intense, flavorful pairings. Check out beercook.com for some sweet recommendations from Ms. Saunders.

And to cap off the night after finishing off one too many six-packs, how about a round of cheese charades? (Yes, it's exactly what you think it is...and it's amazing.)

Cheesoscope of the Month: Taurus

Taurus (April 21 - May 21): You need order, security and self-assurance. You generally maintain very secure and stable relationships, but that may be because you're wary of change—you try to avoid chaos and indecision at all costs. Loosen up, dude. You don't like taking too many risks, so your best bet is a versatile, mild, run-of-the-mill cheese, like cheddar, which won't send you into a tizzy at first bite.

Hey, hey, Reypenaer

Hello, best cheese I've ever had in my life.

Let's revisit my March trip to Amsterdam so I may introduce to you this spectacular dairy delight:

Reypenaer (yea, I don't know how to pronounce it either), a sharp Dutch cheese similar in texture to Parmesan that's a bit nutty and gritty (like me) and that only gets better and tangier with age (also like me!). Emmy + Reypenaer = soulmatez 4eva.

Upon climbing out of the hash cloud encapsulating the city, I was motived to do further research about this indulgent wonder, only to find that it won the prize of Supreme Champion of the International Nantwich Cheese Show in the UK last year. Cool! It also snagged previous victories in 2007 and 2005.

I was lucky enough to sample Reypenaer in its various aged states at a lovely little cheese shop with a knack for presentation skills and a very friendly and knowledgeable staff. Check out Le Guillotin, a handy cutting board with a knife that can be adjusted with a clamp as to provide the cheese width you desire with ease. These quaint devices were also sold at the shop, and were so fun to use that, coupled with my innate human garbage-disposal abilities, I ended up nearly clearing the shop of their sampling cheeses.

Cheesoscope of the Month: Aries

Aries (March 21-April 20): Your energy and passion for everything you do has always resulted in grand achievements, especially at work. Your busy, pioneering nature may often lead to careless accidents in the form of cuts and bruises, so use caution when handling fire and metal objects. Opt for anything that doesn't involve wielding a knife—like string cheese or Babybel. Or, why not try your hand at making your own cheese, you entrepreneur, you?

going Dutch

Many apologies for the hiatus in posting, but I was traveling for a bit over the past few weeks. Not to worry, though - my cheesy mission did not go uninterrupted!

After a three-city tour through Amsterdam, Berlin and Copenhagen, I discovered that hands down, the Dutch do cheese best. Could it have been the drug-induced haze that simply made their dairy delights taste like the most wondrous things on earth? Regardless of whether the sensory experience was heightened by THC or not, all I know is, shit was mad tasty.

One prime example was a 2-euro brick of young cheese made with mustard seeds (!), pictured above - "mostard kaas." This mild Dutch cheese was quite a treat, to say the least, with it's subtle mustardy flavor that was neither overkill nor went undetected. So much of a treat, in fact, that after a morning wake-up call at The Bulldog, three of us finished off the entire block of cheese within a mere six hours. (Thanks, space cakes!)

We got the cheese at Amsterdam's busiest outdoor market, which also sold other foods for ridiculously cheap prices (like a bag of goji berries for a mere 3 euros!).

Sweet things

Could be the PMS / intermittent bouts of lactose intolerance talking here, but sometimes I get sick of people thinking I'm some cheese-obsessed looney with a slab of Babybel always hanging out the side of my mouth or something. So let's switch to desserts that'll leave your sweet tooth and cheese tooth satisfied, whatever your mood.

When you're feeling...

Sassy & chic: Lola's red velvet cupcakes at Selfridges. These fluffy, perfectly sweet little gems are topped with an equally perfect cream cheese frosting, in terms of taste, texture and quantity. Available in normal size (£2) or bite-size (£1) varieties, make sure to snatch these up (as the girl behind the counter advised me) before the 7pm rush, when then they fly off the shelves like blazin' red hotcakes. Check out more flavors at lolas-kitchen.co.uk.

Like a pauper: Gu chocolate & vanilla cheesecakes. Soft cream cheese, rich Belgian chocolate & crumbly biscuit all in one handy lil' glass ramekin you can use forever and evermore, for anything from paintbrush rinsing to amoeba farming. Available at your local supermarket (try Tesco or Sainsbury's), £2.99 for a package of two.

Luxurious: Pair some high-end chocolates from Vosges Haut-Chocolat with their suggested cheese companions. Try Rooster dark chocolate truffle (Tallegio cheese + organic walnuts + Tahitian vanilla bean) and Tallegio, for instance, or Olio d'Oliva white chocolate truffle (extra virgin first-press olive oil + dried kalamata olives) + Latbri Bianco Sottobosco Italian cow + goat's milk cheese studded with black truffles. Go to vosgeschocolate.com to order some fancy truffle collections and more.